Sunday, March 08, 2009

"The Barley Way" Pitch

SET UP:
Yehezkel, The teen Science genius Discovers an earth-like planet with his home made super telescope.

He rushes outside to tell his father and brother, who are pre-occupied playing soccer with their heads.

"DAD! JOSEFFAT! I discovered an EARTH LIKE PLANET!"
They pause to look at him "Are there girls on it?" asks Joseffat "Or Beer?" asks dad.
"I could only find vegetation and liquid water" replies Yehezkel
The attention is yet again stolen by Jossefat "Hey dad look at me! Forget about that science stuff, check out my soccer ball!"
Dad is captured "That's nice about your lil' planet, son... But I can't pass on a good soccer game!"
Discouraged, Yehezkel walks off... and Jossefat adds insult to injury by saying "You find something worthwhile, and MAYBE we'll listen!"
"Oh you'll see!" retaliates Yehezkel "I'll beat you at your own game!"

BODY:

Players assemble in a junior high soccer arena, preparing for a big match, Yehezkel at the goal.
In the audience, Dad is rather anxious, he turns to his smug looking boy asking "Jossefat, you think your brother is ready to be a goalie?"
-"HAHA...Probably not!"


The game begins with a super strong kick from the other team, Yehezkel's players run away in fear of this, but he stays determined to protect the goal...but the ball then causes his beheading and hospitalization.


PAYOFF:


"WHY did you do it SON?"


"Well, *sniff* I just wanted you to be proud of me..."


"But don't you see, I already am proud of you!"


Yehezkel is lead to believe he's had dad's appreciation all along....but wait!


"NASA found proof of life on your planet!"



"GIRLS MADE OF BEER WHO PLAY SOCCER!"

*to the sound of a referee's whistle, the alien girl anticipates, and uses her head to successfully nudge a football coming from off-screen"


"That's a good one, eh son? Haww Haww!"


We truck out of the hospital as rocketships leave the earth by the dozens.

THE END.

Copyright © Amir Avni 2009
Background for panel 8 taken from Astronomy Picture of The Day

14 comments:

Ben said...

Oh man! This rocks! I totally love the alien girl and the other character designs! Love the story boards too! Really cartoony and fun. It works!

Great job, Amir!

A.C said...

So, so rad. I love the idea.

Nico said...

Holy crap, I love this!!! What a funny story!!! I LOVE the alien beer girl, HAHA! Nice work buddy!!!

Nicolas Martinez said...

Great story, Amir! The designs and boards are superbly grand as well.

Amir Avni said...

I'm glad you like it fellas, means a lot to me! :)

Mitch K said...

AMIR This is hilarious! I love the drawings! The mix of real photos and cartoons is awesome.

I think you need to emphasize your reason for the kid to be discouraged, at least for the pitch.

This is awesome stuff! I can't wait! :D

Frank Macchia said...

nice work as usual man.

you think youre gonna use this idea for next year?

its kinda funny...we all put together these picth packages last year...and onnly 2 or 3 people stuck with their ideas for the 4th year film.

still great practice either way.

entertaining stuff man.

Amir Avni said...

Mitch-

Thanks!

Here's the Kid's reason to become discouraged: By his standards (scientific and self fulfilling) discovering an earth like planet is the highest achievement he could ever aspire to.
Another thing he is concerned with is acceptance by the people close to him, who are (unfortunately) his opposites, they haven't the capacity to see his achievement. It's very discouraging when success on your own terms emphasizes the distance between you and your peers.
Therefore he tries to gain success on their terms, and fails at it.

I'm interested to hear your comments on how this can be made clearer/ developed further

Frank-
Glad you like!

I'm not sure if I'll use this one, I'd like to use ideas with more depth, but it depends on whether I can fit them properly within the time frame.

James Sugrue said...

dude! Those are REEEALLY nice drawings! How long did it take you to do those? Keep it up!

Nico said...

amir, thanks so much for the drawing you made for me!! I included it in my bday blog post! :) Thanks again pal

J.R. Spumkin said...

Great work Amir! Can't wait to see this!

ENZO AVOLIO said...

Your work has great motion!

Mitch L said...

Wow awesome! I really like it allot! So insane and fun!

KAUKAB BASHEER said...

Funny and appealing designs.. Good stuff :)